Knowledge

Here I am coffee in hand from @midgarcoffee served by a gorgeous young lady! I am in the Quaker meeting house, in Bury St Edmunds, a lovely old building with an austere interior just right for worship! The sermon being preached today is about EUPD and how to live with it, to understand it and acknowledge it. It’s helping tremendously and I cannot thank @suffolk_mind enough for getting me on it! We are learning about self identity, how you see yourself, how you think others see you. The trick is to change your own mind. To become the person you want to be, the person you should be.

I see myself as;

1. A parent

2. A son

3. A grandparent

4. Straight

5. Tall

6. Funny

7. Caring

8. Generous

9. Intelligent

I think others see me as;

1. Unloveable

2. Mental

3. Miserable

4. Quiet

5. Unworthy

6. Immature

7. Unemployable

8. Unreliable

Things I like

1. The colours green and purple

2. Folk rock and classic music

3. Playing the bagpipes

4. Family history

5. Scotland

6. Star Wars

7. Collecting toys and clothes

8. Laughing

9. Film

10. Art

11. Football

12. People watching

13. Food and cooking

14. Gaming

15. Charity shopping

Things I am good at;

1. Playing the Bagpipes

2. Football

3. Cooking

4. Kissing

5. Fashion

6. Cuddling

7. Being a parent

8. Being a grandparent

9. Making people laugh

I had a terrible night again, full of vivid weird dreams but not as bad as the sensation I had last week. I half woke up convinced that my head had been crushed by a falling beam. In that moment I genuinely thought I was dying. You’d think I’d had enough of that sensation in real life wouldn’t you! The brain is a terribly powerful machine and is capable of wondrous things. It’s also able to conjure up the worst thoughts possible and send you mad! Its responsible for love and hate, forgiveness, it’s capable of great art and even greater destruction. I’m learning all about the brain and it’s all rather interesting!

In other news. I had the rare opportunity to play football with both my boys the other day. It was great to see them both play so well. I’m proud of them all! K sent me a great meme about surfing those waves which is what I continue to do!

Still suffering. Still looking. Still searching. Still celibate!!

#eupdrecovery #eupdawareness #bpd #bpdawareness #mensmentalhealth #suicideprevention #coffeetime