I haven’t taken some of my pills for a few days as I’d run out. I’m feeling overly emotional today..... laughing too much and crying for no real reason. I’m considering writing about what went on before my first trip to the funny farm and what led to the suicide attempt, but I’ll probably wait until the 25th of May ..... it’s a date fitting for the occasion.
I’ve reordered my tabs so I’ll probably be more balanced by the weekend!
I’ve done a bit more painting today and did some tasteful Russian decoupage on my pistol case. Friday I’ve decided to dress up 1930 style for my walk around town. I’m sure I’ll get even stranger looks than normal!
I’m now hooked on coffee. I did have a pod system so got a different machine where you have to add the ground coffee yourself. The thinking was that I couldn’t be bothered to make a cup..... WRONG!! The smell of Javan ground coffee is like a drug..... if I could do two lines of molten magma I would!! I have barista oat milk and it’s an orgasm in a cup. Some of you may say I should get out more and I agree, but atm I’m staying in and coffee is my only drug.
I have caught myself falling into old habits and I’ve put on 5 kg this lockdown. So I’m forcing myself to go out walking and I’ve stopped eating my other drugs of choice, medjool dates and cashew nuts! God they are lush!! So back to protein shakes and my pre prep frozen healthy meals. I’ve also started to eat vegan on occasion and tbh I’m not missing my meat.
So that’s my updates for now! Feeling a bit fluey and my arm aches after the jab. I’m pleased to report that I haven’t stopped cars as I’ve walked home, nor have I sprouted an aerial from my head!
Today I are mostly been wearing Russian Army current issue jacket, with various badges. My boots are WW2 dated army officers boots and I only wear 2 rings as it was cold and the rest were falling off!
Love you all. Peace out! #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #abuse #physicalabuse #survivor #notbeingsilentanymore #thetruth #alcholicsanonymous #speakout #silentnomore #truthbetold
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