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Mangle!

Writer's picture: DougDoug

It’s been a while since I graced these pages. I suppose I have almost expunged my recent history. After realising that that recent history was all a lie, I’m more than ready to move on and try and remember the lessons so harshly, but so dearly taught.

What’s been happening on Planet Doog for the past few months? Well I was Santa again at the Epping Santa Special, the last time as I got very ill again. As much as I love doing it I’m no longer risking my health.

I had a quiet Christmas, recovering from whatever ghastly virus I had. I’m still suffering. Spent Christmas Day with Kerry and we had a quiet but lovely dinner with all the trimmings and crackers. Didn’t see family as we were all recovering from illness but got to see my youngest son and his lovely partner along with my gorgeous granddaughter Esme. It’s a whole different kind of love from anything I’ve ever known. There’s this underlying feeling that I will continue when I’m gone, that she carries my DNA forever into the unknown. When I’m stardust my family will continue into whatever the future holds. She has her parents looks and sense of humour and I look forward to spending the next 20 odd years watching her grow. I will be as involved and as close as Im allowed to be.

I’ve been involved in another dig and I’ll be involved in another end of this summer! All Anglo Saxon so I’m as happy as a rare breed pig in a wood full of truffles! I’m putting together an impression of an Anglo Saxon Thegn and it’s going well. I’ve a few belts to make and a shield and I’m almost there. I’m going to volunteer at Sutton Hoo and West Stow village as a costumed guide. I’ve ordered a 6 string Anglo Saxon Lyre ( a harp type instrument) and I’ll get stuck into that asap! It’s a lovely sound and very evocative of the huge sky and beautiful landscape of gods own country Suffolk!

I’m due to start acting school end of the month but I think confidence and the actual cost are against me. I’d love to do it but I think that I’m too old and I’ll be surrounded by 20 somethings! Maybe I’ll get around to it. I’ve got a zoom audition on the 17th and I’m using a Harold Pinter short soliloquy but going to do it in a Suffolk Norfolk accent!


It’s been a while since I graced these pages. I suppose I have almost expunged my recent history. After realising that that recent history was all a lie, I’m more than ready to move on and try and remember the lessons so harshly, and so dearly taught.


What’s been happening on Planet Doog for the past few months? Well I was Santa again at the Epping Santa Special, the last time as I got very ill again. As much as I love doing it I’m no longer risking my health.


I had a quiet Christmas, recovering from whatever ghastly virus I had. I’m still suffering. Spent Christmas Day with Kerry and we had a quiet but lovely dinner with all the trimmings and crackers. Didn’t see family as we were all recovering from illness but got to see my youngest son and his lovely partner along with my gorgeous granddaughter Esme. It’s a whole different kind of love from anything I’ve ever known. There’s this underlying feeling that I will continue when I’m gone, that she carries my DNA forever into the unknown. When I’m stardust my family will continue into whatever the future holds. She has her parents looks and sense of humour and I look forward to spending the next 20 odd years watching her grow. I will be as involved and as close as Im allowed to be.


I’ve been involved in another dig and I’ll be involved in another end of this summer! All Anglo Saxon so I’m as happy as a rare breed pig in a wood full of truffles! I’m putting together an impression of an Anglo Saxon Thegn and it’s going well. I’ve a few belts to make and a shield and I’m almost there. I’m going to volunteer at Sutton Hoo and West Stow village as a costumed guide. I’ve ordered a 6 string Anglo Saxon Lyre ( a harp type instrument) and I’ll get stuck into that asap! It’s a lovely sound and very evocative of the huge sky and beautiful landscape of gods own country Suffolk!


I’m due to start acting school end of the month but I think confidence and the actual cost are against me. I’d love to do it but I think that I’m too old and I’ll be surrounded by 20 somethings! Maybe I’ll get around to it. I’ve got a zoom audition on the 17th and I’m using a Harold Pinter short soliloquy but going to do it in a Suffolk Norfolk accent!


‘ I mean, I am very sensitive to atmosphere, but I tend to get desensitized, if you know what I mean, when people make unreasonable demands on me.

For instance, last Christmas I decided to do a bit of snow-clearing for the

Borough Council, because we had a heavy snow over here that year in Europe.

Well, that morning, while I was having my mid-morning cup of tea

in a neighbouring cafe, the shovel standing by my chair, an old lady

approached me and asked me if I would give her a hand with her iron

mangle.

Her brother-in-law, she said, had left it for her, but he’d left it in

the wrong room, he’d left it in the front room. Well, naturally, she wanted it

in the back room. It was a present he’d given her, you see, a mangle, to iron

out the washing. But he’d left it in the wrong room, he’d left it in the front

room, well that was a silly place to leave it, it couldn’t stay there. So I took

time off to give her a hand. She only lived up the road. Well, the only trouble

was when I got there I couldn’t move this mangle. It must have weighed

about half a ton. How this brother-in-law got it up there in the first place I

can’t even begin to envisage. So there I was, doing a bit of shoulders on

with the mangle, risking a rupture, and this old lady just standing there,

waving me on, not even lifting a little finger to give me a helping hand. So

after a few minutes I said to her, now look here, why don’t you stuff this iron

mangle up your arse? Anyway, I said, they’re out of date, you want to get a

spin drier. I had a good mind to give her a workover there and then, but as I

was feeling jubilant with the snow-clearing I just gave her a short-arm jab

to the belly and jumped on a bus outside. Excuse me, shall I take this

ashtray out of your way’


It’s interesting isn’t it and quite funny but at the same time a bit worrying!


Well that’s me for now. I’m dressing up as Darth Vader tomorrow to help out my good mate for a photo shoot. He’s promoting a comi con at Stonham Barns in August. I may be there as a signee with pics from House of Dragons and The Nevers. Depends how many of you would be interested in coming to say hello. I’m very cheap


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