I’ve tried to keep not only a written record of the past few months but also a pictorial one. Not only am I a different person mentally but physically I look completely different. The first picture I took about 2 months ago and it was a time when I wasn’t eating or sleeping. My mind was still in shock and I think it shows. It is the face of a man who thought he had lost everything. It is the 1000 yard stare of someone who never imagined he could get so low. The second photo was taken this Sunday. Whilst I still have my bad days, it shows a different person entirely. Fitter, happier and working towards recovery. It is a face of optimism, strength and hope.
Whenever you are feeling bad and suicide seems your only way out always think this. That the person you are today is not the person you will be in 6 months time. You will look back on the dark time and wonder how you could have got so low. Your future self will thank you for your bravery and determination to get through it all, and still come out the other side a better stronger person. Don’t forget that life is precious not only to you but to those that love you. Don’t throw it away in a split second moment of madness.
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