And so the end of the day draws near. Today has been very funny, uplifting and extremely interesting. It’s wonderful being surrounded by fellow nut jobs, you don’t feel so alone!
Im on the couch as usual, thinking about the day I’ve had, what I’ve learnt, what I’ve gained and also the coffee and cake I had at Midgar. Sometimes I feel as if I’m too much and have to rein myself in. Am I having a maniacal episode or is this who I’m supposed to be? Its sometimes very difficult to know whether I’m naturally fun and if so I begin to feel guilty and think I should be in a permanent state of depression. Is it the drugs making me feel great or am I eventually clawing myself out of the mental mire? I think it’s a combination of both. Being fun can be addictive!
Tomorrow is ‘Spoons night and it’s curry I think! I’ll be taking my wonderful daughter there…… I don’t go to Wetherspoons for the food or the ambience but because a pint of IPA is £1.49! Its just great to spend time with family and forget your troubles for a couple of hours. I’m very lucky that I am blessed with beautiful kind caring children. I am a rich man in that regard.
I shall play my pipes tomorrow as I’ve left them for a couple of weeks. Once I’ve mastered something I tend to stop for a while. I think I could be a very good piper if I practiced everyday! Music is very important to me, it’s great for mental
health either playing an instrument or just taking some time to sit back and really listen to some great classic stuff. I thoroughly recommend Vaughn Williams The Lark Ascending, give it a listen.
EUPD Facts of the Day 1.I am capable of fierce love and rage. I have no internal control to even my emotions out
2. I am powerfully connected to people close to me and terrified of losing them. To save on the hurt I end those relationships by self sabotage. I think that this will protect me. 3. I get angry and only think in black and white. The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone but sometimes I act without thinking
All of the above I can learn to change.
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