Going to dig!

I am very tired today. I dont sleep well at all. It’s been many months since I’ve taken any pill to help me stay asleep but the less pills I take the better. As I feel tired I feel overly emotional. Not running down the street, trousers down screaming emotional but feeling retrospective somber and sad. It comes and goes. Having EUPD you get used to the rollercoaster of emotions. It’s not a daily or weekly thing either, you can wake up feeling on top of the world and the next you’re at rock bottom. Not only does lack of sleep make you tired but being in a constant state of low level panic takes it’s toll. Being OCD also saps your energy, forever concentrating on things you cannot change, obsessing over past mistakes and hurt numbs real feelings, you kind of disappear from the now. These type of days are becoming fewer as the months pass altho I can be triggered. I then feel so disappointed in myself that my good record has gone that I beat myself up over it. There are lots of things to learn in the future and in particular over the next year.

So….. I’ve got rid of the beard and I’ve decided to grow it right back! I look bloody terrible! If I don’t grow it back I’ll have to pay for some fillers and as growing a beard is free I’ll be going that route!

I’m losing weight again….. bought a pair of 36 shorts beginning of last week now they are hanging off me! Back to a 34 and back to the gym very soon!

I have been without a car for a month!! My beloved Alfa is at a specialist being looked at and it sounds as if it’s going to be an expensive fix….. I’m shallow…., I love the way things look…. I love Alfas as they are beautiful but inside they can be a bag of spanner’s!

My main news!!!!

About 40 years ago I wrote to one of the Cambridge Universities that were going to dig up Sutton Hoo again. I was actually accepted onto the dig but unfortunately my life took a different turn. I often wonder where I’d be now if I’d chosen to go on the dig. Anyway, as I’m a mentalist and being under Suffolk MIND, I’m going to be going onto an archaeological dig at Rendlesham. The archaeologists seem to think they have found King Raedwalds palace ( he who was buried in the Sutton Hoo mound) They are actually digging the palace this summer and I’m going to be there!! I’ve already decided that I’m going to find gold and enamelled sword fittings and a child’s skull! To say I’m excited is the understatement of the century. It seems my life is going full circle.

Anyway that’s it for now. Whatever you’re doing, wherever you are, have fun and make the most of every single second!!