I am currently taking the following;
mirtazapine 45mg
Vensir 75mg
Flupentixol 500 microgrammes
Zopiclone
I have never been on two types of anti depressants let alone three before. I am convinced that the mirtazapine caused anger and suicidal thought issues. It was also instrumental in me piling on the weight and contributing to the loss of my relationship. I need to come off it as soon as I am allowed and I will talk to the psychiatrist on Wednesday.
I had a good nights sleep after eating a small meal and taking my cocktail of drugs. But I have woken up feeling desperately sad and at a loss. Yet again I am looking at lost opportunities rather than the future. Both aspects can be overwhelming. You can’t change the past and you don’t know what the future holds, I’m stuck in limbo and neither the past nor the future offers any hope. I should live in the present I am told, to live for each moment but my moments consist of ’What ifs?’ and ‘What will happen?’. Bubbling beneath the surface there is the panic waiting to break out. It’s a vicious circle and the anxiety caused by the waiting panic just adds fuel to the fire.
I have not begun to look at coping mechanisms yet. There’s no magic pill to take or a switch to turn off. It takes hard work and determination to get better. Yes I am having a bad morning so I’ll have to work at having a better afternoon.
I've been on mirtazapine too and I recognize the symptoms you describe. Sadly I never lost the gained weight no matter how hard I've tried and am still trying.. That's something I'm trying to deal with. For me going outside and being in nature and meditationhelps me with my panick attacks. But that may not help you. I tried a lot of things before I found that out. Take it one step at a time sweetie.. You've got this!