Ive been busy today. I was up at 2 this morning, ate a cheese omelette at 3,30 whilst watching some old Basil Rathbone Sherlock Holmes films. Protein shake at 7.30 and did my weight training for 30 mins. I nearly finished making some awesome prop bats and from 12 until 13.00 had a great session with the psychiatrist. Lots of options to look at and they are going to wean me off the mirtazapine and sleeping tablets. In 2016 I had a weird fainting fit and didnt bother going to see the docs until a week later. I had a CT scan which showed a small anomaly on the right side of my brain. I didnt even think to ask what that meant at the time, so that is going to be looked at again. I often wonder if that had something to do with my erratic and sometimes bizarre behaviour over the past few years. Hopefully they can give me an answer. I found the psychiatrist extremely helpful and as determined as me to help me understand what has happened, and to help me on the road to recovery. The only person that can make things happen is yourself and you need to engage at every level to give yourself the best chance to heal. It is no good sitting back waiting for a magic pill or the off button in your brain. It takes a massive amount of energy to stay connected in everything. Being happy isnt easy when youve spent most of your life being the opposite!
I worked some more on the bats and from 14.00 to 16.00 took part in a webinar on CHIME. That is the beginnings of the road to recovery.
C is for Connection to yourself others and your surroundings
H is for Hope, the most difficult for me to keep in view.
I is for identity. To regain your identity and to shape a new one
M is for meaning and purpose. To give meaning to your life and to find purpose in that life
E is for Empowerment. . How you empower yourself to achieve all of the goals towards recovery
Thats all rather oversimplified but i found it fascinating and very very helpful. Iv signed up to two more next week! I went for a walk with K to the local church where we took some pics and vids and managed about 5500 steps today. Back home for 19.30 for my small meal being kept company by the Hobbit and a can of sugar free pop. All in all today was a good day. Its the evenings that I still find difficult.
No other way to go but up! I’m glad to share my tales with you.
It's so wonderful to read you are getting better.. Thank you for sharing your life's story and your road to recovery. I have immense respect for the strength and determination you show.